Friday, 29 July 2011

Ginger







A friend of mine updated her facebook this morning about a girl who took her own life yesterday because she was bullied. It has been playing on my head and heart all day and it has aways been something that i have worried about for Elle.
To me, her hair is beyond perfect. In fact, i am so jealous of her colour that i am getting a similar colour in my hair soon. It changes colour all the time and is actually multi toned! She has red, blonde and white streaks all through her hair and people would pay alot of money to have her curls. But, red heads often get judged before people get to know them. There is such a thing around people with redheads and how because they are ginger, how they must be ugly. Especially in the playground. Children can be cruel and i remember being younger and a little girl with ginger hair was bullied so much and no one wanted to be her friend. I wish i was braver back then to tell her to ignore the bullies and tell her she was pretty.  My husband was also badly bullied at school because of his hair colour!
It worries me to the point where i just want to cry that Elle will get bullied. To me, she is so beautiful and she has such a loving heart and the thought ofanyone being mean to her, especially about her hair colour, breaks my heart. Last year, i was walking through the shopping centre with her. She was so excited and was running towards the disney shop when a group of teenagers walked past and one went "eurgh, look at that! its ginger!" and the rest of the group just laughed! I was so shocked and i felt so helpless. I want to be able to protect her from any hurt but how am i supposed to protect her from bullies! Alot of people have said to me that she is so tough and such a character that she wont get bullied but i just worry and worry. I want her to know how beautiful she is and have the confidence to stand up for herself if she does get picked on but i dont want to turn HER into a bully by making her think she is better than anyone else.

Elle gets stopped alot in the street by elder ladies telling her how gorgeous her hair is and it makes me so proud but times are so much different now.

I am so sorry to be so negative in this post. It is something that will always be on my heart i think. I just wish this was something i could have control over. I just hope and pray that people will see her for who she is and not just see a ginger girl they can bully!

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13 comments

  1. I wouldn't be worried for her, I think she has the most AMAZING hair ever! My dream hair would be exactly hers, red and curly! She is really beautiful and I'm sure when she grows up other people will be jealous of it too :) People who say bad things about people are only insecure of themselves. She's such a little cutie xxx

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  2. I agree with Amy! Her hair is my DREAM hair!

    I can't imagine how someone can be bullied so bad that they take their own life, it seems foreign to me. I'm home schooled, and have never put up with real bulling, (Unless being pestered by your brother counts, :-D).

    Maybe as she gets older, you could help her realize that what others think about Her, or Her looks really doesn't matter. Your beautiful anyway! Those who really care about Elle wont care about her (amazing) looks.

    We need stronger people out there. Maybe she can be one of them.

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  3. I LOVE Elle's hair! I have blonde hair, but I've always wanted hair like Elle's! I will pray that she will always remember how beautiful she is. :)

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  4. Your daughter's hair is gorgeous. She's a beautiful little girl! I feel your pain, though. I am a red head. I was teased from as far back as I can remember. It was always the adults who commented on what beautiful hair I had and how much they would love to have hair my colour. Hair stylists refused to believe that I didn't colour my hair. The teasing and bullying took such a toll on me, though, that now - at 38 years old - I still have a hard time accepting a compliment about my hair. I pray that your little girl will not have to go through this. Children can be so cruel, can't they? I pray that your daughter will be stronger than I was and that any teasing will roll right off her back and not affect her like it did me. (((Hugs)))

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  5. Kerri-Anne,

    Thanks for your comment! I absolutely love your blog!

    Your little girl, Elle, has beautiful hair and I can't imagine why someone would make fun of it. I don't think that the teasing would last long because once she's in high school, the other girls will be jealous of her hair because it is so unique/special.

    I think that it is only natural for us, as parents, to worry about anything ever hurting our child. I know that I worry about my son and he's not even a year old yet!

    -Dana @ Dana'sPinkRibbon

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  6. That girl is super cute!
    I love that hair.... LOVE IT! :)


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  7. I've lived in the UK for almost 6 years and I still cannot wrap my head around all of the negativity surrounding red hair. In the US {where I'm from} it's considered beautiful and even exotic.

    But I hear you. My son doesn't have red hair, or really anything that stands out or sets him apart, but I am still scared to death that he will be bullied.

    Hang in there mama! x

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  8. Hi Keri-Anne
    Don't worry about sharing - it's not negative - just honest concerns.
    I guess something many parents must worry about, those with disabled children for example. That they'll be bullied because of their differences when those differences are what make us who we are.
    We can't change others, as your experience with those teenagers showed (how awful they were - hugs) but we can change our thoughts. So with the loving background Elle has, I'm certain her self worth will be strong and any teasing won't affect her in major ways.
    If we love and accept ourselves - it tends to be our experience that others will follow that. And since Elle will then that should stand her in a confident place.

    I LOVE her hair and it just gets prettier as she grows. I think people like Florence are doing lots for the acceptance of red hair.
    Love to you and the girls
    Kat x

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  9. Hi there,

    I'm new to your blog and this post brought tears to my eyes. Your daughter is just stunning. So unique... and just so darn beautiful. Although, I know you know this, and are just doing what all mamas do best - worrying about the happiness of their beloveds.

    I live in australia and went to school with lots of gorgeous grils with red hair. None of them were bullied, and actually I didn't even notice that their was a difference - apart from the fact that I envied the colour of their hair.
    I'm sure your little precious will be just fine. I will have faith in the world and hope that kindness and love prevail! Will pray for you and your girls though.

    You are so blessed to have your girls, enjoy every moment.

    ash
    xx

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  10. oh sweet heart, she will be fine with you there by her side. I have red hair (or titian really like your daughter - red, blonde, white, brown, even very dark red that looks nearly purple) and did get bullied but it has made me stronger than others probably are. My son has red hair and he was more concerned about his freckles really, he is off to secondary school soon and I do worry a little but I feel he will be strong enough to stop anything in its tracks. As long as you are open with your children and they know they can turn to you for help I think that is the main thing. Also confidence is a big part of it, I was quite quiet then and I think that is what started the bullying more than my hair really. Do not worry until the problem arises if you can, enjoy her being little right now. xxx

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  11. I am a red head & never got bullied about it ever. I love my hair color, now it has white through it, so I have to dye it. I hope she wouldn't get picked on for that. I never really thought of that since it didn't happen to me. I wish my daughter had my hair color. She has a little bit of red highlights. I'm hoping maybe it will turn redder as she gets older. My Mom also had reddish hair & my Dad called her Big red.

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  12. I have red hair and I'm not going to say that kids never bullied me, because they did, but honestly, my mom was always SO complimentary of my hair, that I always just brushed it off like it wasn't a big deal. My mom always made it a point to tell me how different and unique I was, and that's how I saw myself. When I hit highschool, ALL the girls wanted my hair. I LOVED having red hair, even when I was bullied for it! I was always different than the other kids and have always had a very strong and stubborn personality, which most red heads are known for, anyway. ;) Your beautiful little girl is going to be just fine! My baby boy has red hair, too!

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  13. I want to give you a big giant hug! I have Ginger daughter too, and to be honest the thought of her being bullied because of it never even crossed my mind. I am not sure if things are just different here in the U.S. but little girls don't get bullied so much for red hair. Little boys do, though. :0( It's very sad, and kind of pathetic. Red-heads are actually very unique and rare, and to be treasured!!! I cannot believe those rude teenagers you encountered. Hugggggggles! Let's keep telling our Ginger's how beautiful they are, and how wonderful their hair is, and when they get into school they will just let any teasing run off their backs. :0) XO

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