Thursday, 2 February 2012

On my heart: Sleep




I was so very lucky with Elle. She slept through from 8 weeks. She would go 8pm-8am, have a little milk and sleep again until around 11am, sometimes even noon! i always felt so refreshed. Ready to face the day and have the energy to take her swimming, for walks everyday, to spend every second on the floor playing with her and not need to sit down or just "rest my head for a second on the sofa cushions".

The first night we bought Mia home, we put her down with us in her basket and all fell asleep at 10pm. I woke up with a jolt at 8am the next morning as she hadnt woken me and was still fast asleep in her basket next to me. I could see her tiny chest going up and down and her little fingers twitching. I then made the huge mistake of counting myself lucky that we have another good sleeper.

Apart from actually getting her to sleep, she was pretty good until she was 7 months old. She would wake around 5am to be nursed and go straight back to sleep again. She then started to wake up a few hours after we put her down in the evening. Then a few hours in the night. And then she would want to stay up and play. It then got to the point where she would be up most of the evening with us and also for a few hours in the night too, just wanting to play or be cuddled.

And here we are now. I get on average three hours of sleep a night. Mia just doesnt seem to need sleep. My body is just not functioning right. I feel like im sinking into the floor and my brain is so cotton woolish! i have been making such silly mistakes and forgetting simple things. For instance, last week, i went to the supermarket to get the ingredients to make up a lasagne. I picked up the sauce and the vegetables. I looked in my basket and thought yes, thats all i need! i got home, went to cook the dinner and reaslised i hadnt any mince, garlic bread or pasta! The next day, i went to the supermarket to get things to make a stir fry and picked up noodles and veg. I got home, went to cook dinner and realised i forgot the meat. Its scary how your mind can just not function correctly. I am starting to have to write things down in my diary just so i will remember them!

When Mia was younger and sleeping alot better, the days were alot more fun. We went out everyday. We had adventures, we made teepees. There was always something planned that we were going to do and i had so much energy. I had all the patience in the world and just felt completely happy.
Now, most of our days are spent at home. I cannot muster up the energy to do alot. I feel guilty because i havent done half the things with Mia that i did with Elle as a baby. I havent taken her swimming or to the indoor play centre alot. I don't take her on daily walks or spend hours with her lying on the floor in fits of giggles over a cuddly toy making a funny noise when you squeeze its tummy.

It is actually getting to the point that i dread going to bed. I dont see the point in going to sleep as i know i will be awake only a few hours later.

Oh, i wouldnt change Mia for the world but how do people cope? To other mummies who have a non sleeper, how do you find the energy to do things? How do you cope when you hit that 3pm slot and your eyes wont even stay open yet there is no way you can just fall asleep as you have a energetic baby to entertain?

I am certainly not complaining, i just need a little advice. A few wise words from others who have gone through this or are going through this. I just need a little pick me up before my heart aches even further with this guilt of not being able to give the girls the days and attention they deserve without losing patience or having to sit down before i fall down!


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18 comments

  1. Oh hun I am going to PM you tonight, I know the no sleep thing very well... first of all no feeling guilty, you do your best putting pressure on yourself will makes things worse believe me, hugs xx

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    1. Thank you Amy, it was a lovely message to receive xx

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  2. I think its always hard to give the second child the attention you gave to the first anyway, without the lack of sleep, as you are just too busy. My second also used to wake early. Always 5am, then 4.30, then 4am then 3.30, then 3am!!! In the end, we had to be harsh, and we let him cry it out, as we knew he was clean & dry, and fed! I know this technique isnt for everyone, but it worked for us, then he went beck to waking at 5 & 5.30, this I can cope with!!!!

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    1. Thank you so much.
      i have been told to let her cry it out but i just cant bear to hear her cry! i just break down myself. xx

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  3. Hi,
    I wouldn't worry about not going out, you just have to go with the flow of getting through the day when you are sleep deprived. My son who is now 2 has gone through stages of being a bad sleeper and what worked for us is co-sleeping. It has been the only way any of us have got some sleep. Now he has little episodes of waking up at 3am and being Mr Giddy - literally bouncing on the bed in between me and the OH for 2 hours.No idea why it happens sometimes and the following day I always declare a duvet day. Knowing that I just need to get through the day eased the pressure of feeling I wasn't going out here, there and everywhere. Does she have enough daytime sleep? Toby is a nightmare if he skips a daytime nap, you'd think he would be tired but oh no, over tired means full of beans.

    It does get better, honest. xxx Go easy on yourself. sam xx

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    1. Thank you Sam for you lovely message,
      yes we co-sleep with Mia but it doesnt help with her waking. she goes down in her cot at bedtime then we bring her in with us.

      She used to have two one hour naps through out the day but now she normally just has one nap after lunch for an hour or so. If i dont let her nap, she will fall asleep at around 4 or 5 and then she will never go down at bedtime.

      i guess its trial and error with naps. she is just stubborn when it comes to naps too and doesnt like going down for them x

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  4. oh how i sympathize with you! i went through two years of this and i still dont feel like my old self. i co slept, nursed, did two naps a day for my baby girl (that would or would not be so successful) but we are on the other side. just know that you are doing your very best and remember to be kind to yourself. dont fret or worry about what you are not doing and focus on what your are doing right. i know that tired desparate feeling when you want to sleep but feel like its pointless. just know that one day sleep will come again. it is apparent that you are kind, and lovely, and a wonderful mommy, best wishes to you!!!

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    1. thank you Stephanie and thank you for saying loely kind words about me. x

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  5. awwww she's so cute! I'm glad she sleeps so well, that's just perfect. Best wishes for you and your little girl

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  6. Sleep deprivation is no fun at all is it , no wonder they use it as torture! :-( Esme has only just started sleeping through at the age of 4 so I know how you feel. Try and rest in the day if you can, I know it is no fun but it is important to chill out if you can in the day. Take care x

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    1. oh gosh, 4? i feel for you darling.
      thank you for your comment xx

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  7. Don't feel guilty lovely. You are such a wonderful mother and you won't always feel this tired. Sending wishes that you start getting enough sleep and your energy comes back so you can have giggle fits with your girls. It will happen again, but it's so hard when your in the moment and feeling guilty. Hugs xxx

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  8. My son (who will be turning 11 years old in much too soon of a time) was not much of a sleeper, but every once in a while he would accidentally take a long nap or forget to wake up in the middle of the night. My 19 month old daughter though, is an entirely different story. The girl just does not sleep. The night before Halloween last year she miraculously slept for a 6 hour stretch, but otherwise she sleeps in 2 hour stretches, when she sleeps at all. I've tried the cry it out method a couple of times when I just absolutely needed time to attend to something, but the girl is determined. If I resolve to let her stay in her crib for 2 hours she will spend those 2 hours crying and being mad. It just feels nuts.

    I put her down in the pack-n-play for bedtime, after reading to her and laying with her for another 30 minutes (I have to make sure she's in a deep sleep if I want her to stay down once I leave) and then within 2 hours she's back up and I usually have to call it a night and pull her into bed with me. I've tried all sorts of variations to trick her into sleeping longer, but nothing has worked thus far.

    I guess eventually she'll learn to sleep on her own, for a longer period of time, but I feel you on the running on very little sleep. I've lived my life on only 4 hours of sleep per night since high school but as I get a little older I'm feeling it more and more during the day. I hope some sweet dreams are in both of our near futures.

    (Ack, sorry for the ridiculously lengthy comment!)

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    1. oh, we seem to be going through the same. i feel for you too!!!
      Lets hope our little fairies learn to sleep soon,

      p.s thank you for the lovely comment adn taking your time to reply :) x

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  9. Keri, when she is walking she will shatter herself out i'm sure of it and bedtime will be much easier on you all. I'm sure its hard too if Elle wakes when she hears mia crying. I cried alot with the letting them cry it out method, but i struggled through it and realised it did both me and hollie a whole lot of good as she got her sleep when she was too tired to cry anymore, and i got some sleep. Just think of all the lovely things you can do if she sleeps more and you get your sleep. maybe just try the crying method a few times and see if it works? it's hard not to get angry with them when your tired and i know you'll all benefit from it hugely :D

    hope things get better soon sweetie xxxx

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  10. i think you need to stop being so sensitive, and i say this in the nicest possible way. you need to let her cry it out when you put her to bed and not get worked up about it. i'm a mother myself, and i was like you, but then i learnt to control my emotions when it comes to things. i think it is because you are so young and you must be getting too worked up about things. if you need a little pick-me-up try the puff :-)
    much love, Sandy McWeller Jones, message me on my blogspot: sassysandyjones

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