Monday, 4 February 2013
Tiny moments. The moments that for others would seem so ordinary but for you, they leave a print on your heart and you want to get out your diary and write and write about that feeling, that moment.
We co-sleep with Mia. She does go into her own bed in the evening but then usually wakes between 11 and 1 to come in with us. Sometimes, i lie her in and we both fall asleep within seconds. Sometimes, i lie her in and she falls asleep and i am left awake and struggling to fall to sleep and sometimes, i lie her in and she turns her head, grips my finger and puts her forehead against mine. Sometimes, she will regulate her breathing so it is the same as mine and sometimes she makes little sweet sighing noises whilst trying to get even closer to me.
These are the moments that leave marks. People could quite easily throw that away and turn around and go to sleep but i stay there. Last night, i stayed there. Foreheads touching and hearts beating the same. I could feel her heartbeat through her baby grow. I could feel her breath on my cheek and i could feel her gripping tighter and tighter on my finger. I whispered that i loved her. She sighed so deeply and whispered "love you mama".
I don't ever ever want these tiny moments to stop. My heart is becoming fuller and fuller. I am going to write each girl a little diary full of these tiny moments that fill my heart right up and gift it to them one valentines day in the distant future. I hope it makes their hearts swell reading them as much as it does for me to experience and write them.
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