Tuesday, 13 May 2014

Lately























This week, i read back through my blog over the last year and realised that i nearly always focus on the positive things such as the lovely things we have been doing or the wonderful days out we have been having. I get anxious and stressed very easily and, for me, it's easier to try and stay as positive as i can and surround myself with as much stress free days as i can otherwise i can get overwhelmed by the negatives. So this month, yes there has been some really great things that have happened but i have also had some, to be honest, crappy days! I feel that if i allow myself to write the negative things down, i become vunerable and feel very much exposed (especially when i then publish it for the world to read!), which in turn causes me more anxiety but i want this blog to be honest and i don't want to feel like i am trying to portray a perfect life.

Over the last 6 months or so, i have been so so tired and lethargic. If i can get through the day without having to take a nap, it's a miracle! It started to effect how i was being a mother and the housework. It would get to 10am and i would feel the need to go back to bed. I started to become short with the girls and become easily irritated. I visited the doctors and had some tests and it turned out i had severe anaemia. I actually had this in both pregnancies and i feel that my iron levels didn't actually replenish after the pregnancies and i have probably had a very low count the whole time. I am now on medication. I still have those days where my eyes wont stay open or i feel like i want to just lay on the couch all day but i am trying to take a positive approach now. My diet has been shocking and i need to really step up and make some changes. I have weeks where i exercise and eat healthy but then stop and i need to push myself. I need to start over again and on that day where i feel like stopping, i need to sit myself down and work out why i feel i want to stop and give up and then deal with that. I really feel a lifestyle change is going to help me and i cannot carry on the way i am going now as i am not being the best i can be or the best mother i can be. 

My husband is working away every weekend at the moment in some freelance work as well as working full time during the week. I am really proud of him as he is pursuing what he loves but i miss him so much! He is a stage technician and works full time in the local theatre and then freelances at theatres across the country and soon to be world. He is building a tour each weekend in different venues so is away from saturday until late monday night. It is helping us in our financial situation and we will be able to eventually save for our first house but again, i miss him! Very much! I am starting to get used to him being away and trying to plan things to do each weekend so it goes quickly and i have people around me for support or just for company, so it isn't just me and the girls all week and then all weekend. Gilles has bought me a new laptop and ipad this week though and i am so grateful to him. He says i deserve it and i am very shocked. I got a text the other day to say that he had just bought me an ipad and then the same evening, he came home and said he was popping out with a cheeky look in his eye and came back with a brand new laptop for me! He is pretty wonderful and that boy just keeps surprising me with his kind heart! This is a huge thing for us as a family and is going to change our lives and as i said, i am so incredibly proud of him and how hard he is working for make sure we are all ok.

Life is very busy at the moment and i am trying to fill it with as much positive days and keep us all happy and healthy. I am enjoying having this blog and my photography and when Mia starts preschool in september, i am going to be concentrating a lot more on my photography and it is an exciting thought!


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24 comments

  1. Wow! Magic tender atmosphere of spring!
    It's Very beautiful photos!

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  2. The pictures are very beautiful and really made me focus on the positives before reading your post. Sorry to hear that you've been so tired and am glad you have got to the bottom of it and having help. You are doing so well to be so positive - and what fantastic gifts :)

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  3. I hope you are feeling better soon and everything falls into place for you. You have a loving family and friends around you, which is so important.

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  4. Gorgeous pictures! I love the dress she is wearing in the first pictures! Adorable.

    Hope you start feeling better soon with the medication x

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  5. I am so sorry to hear that you have been a bit under the weather, hopefully now that you know whats going on you will start to feel better. Lovely photos as always xxxx

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  6. can i just say those little angels are abslutely beautiful, pure angels , thoe freckles are the cutest thing ihave ever seen , adorable and fantastic pics x

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  7. Beautiful photographs, as always :-) I'm sorry to hear that you have been feeling low and lethargic lately. I have times like that too. I hope that you feel much better soon.x

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  8. I suffer from serve anemia and understand that you feel tired. It is horrible. Try to take your medication with fresh juice as it helps them work quicker

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  9. Gosh what a beautiful photostory! Onwards and upward I hope :)

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  10. gorgeous photos lovely! I know how hard it is when you're kind of single parenting... G's been doing seven day weeks for over a year now, and it's tough. I know it's worth it in the long run, but it doesn't make it any easier right now does it?!

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  11. Stunning photos, you really captured the beauty of flowers well and the innocence of your daughter, Mia.

    Focusing on being positive and taking each day as it comes is a good thing.

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  12. I love the dandelion photograph, so beautiful. What camera do you use for your photography?

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  13. I know what you mean about blogging mostly the positive stuff.

    I'm sorry to hear you're not 100% at the moment but if it helps even just a little bit, whenever I'm feeling a bit bleugh and I come here and look at your beautiful photos I can't help but smile x x

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  14. I hope you pick up soon and start to feel better. I often feel like my blog can be an escapism from the stresses of life but it is also my councillor when I am down. As always beautiful pictures x

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  15. Beautiful photos, especially the flower headband ones! I know just how you feel; I too only blog about the happiness in our lives (until today, ironically!) and I've been feeling the same during this pregnancy...turns out I have gestational diabetes. A complete change of diet and things are so much better now! I hope you start to feel better soon :)

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  16. I find focusing on the positive is a must in trying times. Well done you, and I hope get things easier soon. Your pics are beautiful as always. The garden wall is such a great backdrop for two beautiful girls, and I love seeing your displays - you have such a sense of style :-)
    Love Vicky
    http://www.aroundandupsidedown.co.uk/

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  17. Anaemia makes you feel rotten, so pleased you now know and can replenish your iron stores and hopefully your energy! Lovely photos, I especially like the one of your youngest photographing her older sister!

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  18. Absolutely beautiful photos- I adore the flower head dress, amongst all the others! I understand what you mean about the balance of recording the positives, I think we all need this to get us through- it sounds like your end goal is fantastic, it's just the journey is more difficult- it's good to hear you're getting spoilt along the road.

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  19. Gosh you poor thing, feeling and less than perfect and having to look after children is such hard work, I hope your medication improves things for you soon xx

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  20. Beautiful photos and what a lovely hubby buying you a new laptop and iPad. xx

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  21. I really like the last picture! a huge smile on your girl face... so pretty

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  22. Adore the picture of the blossom hairbands but that one of your daughter with the camera is amazing - one for the wall!

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  23. sorry you've been struggling lovely, your hubby sounds like he really appreciates all the hard work you put in, yay for a new laptop and iPad! x

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  24. Bless you, my husband works away a lot also so I feel for you when you feel like there are days you just want to crawl back into bed. Plus with the anaemia to top it off!! Just be kind to yourself, take time where you can get it and hopefully things shall improve soon and the medication will lick in x

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