Thursday, 24 July 2014
A growing love
Wednesday was Elle's last day at school. I knew that i would be feeling a little lost and down and so i asked my brother the week before if he would come over wednesday evening and sit with the girls whilst Gilles and i went out together. I didn't want to go out on a dinner date, i just wanted to go for a nice walk in the sun. Just us (and the dog!).
For years and years, i struggled with intense guilt of leaving the girls with people. I loved the idea initially, but when it came to it, i felt so anxious and would work myself up about it. Looking after them was MY job, so why was i being selfish and leaving them with other people. It took me a long time, and a good talking to by my doctor, to realise that i need time for myself. I need to ask for help more so i don't burn myself out and become even more exhausted. Spending time alone is ok but getting to spend time with one of my most favourite people in the whole world wide is even better! Sunday, we left the girls with Gilles's parents and went on a trip to ikea. I looked forward to it for days and days and couldn't stop telling him how excited i was. I danced our little hearts out in the car and rolled the windows down to catch the breeze without little people saying they were cold, or needed a wee or wanted a drink.Sometimes, i just want to be carefree and be in that moment with my husband without having to think or answer to anything or anyone else.
Wednesday was one of those perfect evenings. We drove to one of my favourite villages and walked along the canal into the next village. We saw rabbits and damsel flies and stood for about 10 minutes infront of a heron statue, trying to work out if it was real or not to figure out it wasn't and the people in their boats must have been having a right laugh at us! I photographed baby ducklings, starlings, the sun light on the water and found wonderful new fields to go for adventures in with the girls. There was the most sweetest canal boat that was selling potted and hanging plants from the side of it and on the path. We are going to go back and buy some very soon.
We have been married for 7 years now and i still get flutters when he kisses me. It is those surprise kisses when you are busy doing something and they grab you and pull you close. I love Gilles more now than i did when we got married. The love keeps growing with every adventure and experience we have together. I love talking with him about growing old. I just know we will be one of those old couples that still holds hands where ever we go!
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