Monday, 3 December 2018

self love and therapy


The beginning of 2018 started out really tough for me. I was in the depths of a serious mental health illness, back and forth between doctors, outpatient clinics and weekly blood test appointments. Weight ins, people shaking their fingers at me, looking at me as if i must be some crazy person! But I really dug so deep inside myself and I knew that I needed to survive so i fought. I fought the hardest I ever could and I am here today. Stronger than ever! Through amazing therapy and self care, I have managed to recover.

I always have great plans for the new year. For me, It is a fresh start. A new beginning and a time where I reflect and make changes. I know it can be done at anytime of the year but, for me, it is that mental thing that it is a brand new chance and opportunity.

I spoke to my husband yesterday, whilst holding hands just the two of us and looking at Christmas displays in shops. I told him about some of my plans for next year and then I really spent some time alone thinking about them. They usually include the normal loose weight, go to bed earlier and actually do a facial routine every night before bed! My plans this year do actually include these things but in a more gentle way. My overall goal is to be more gentle with myself, look after myself and love myself. I don't want to set unrealistic goals and pressure myself and end up failing. I want to take tiny baby steps and nurture myself and my body. I have given myself time to recover from my illness, to make changes to my mental health and to just start loving life again and now I need to really take care of myself to make sure that I stay on track and stay healthy.



I might not follow these completely, but I have made some notes on things I would love to try and incorporate into my daily life again:

- The main one that most people will say but it will be incorporating exercise again. I have done this so many times. Started a healthy eating and exercise regime and have either given up or gone to the extreme so, this time, I am approaching it differently. I haven't really thought of a regime as such yet but now I am more clued up on nutrition and not scared of food, I am excited to see where this goes. Where as before, I completely cut out all sugar and unhealthy foods, I want to have a more balanced diet and do the Kayla Itsine's workouts again. This time though, I won't weigh myself and do progress photos. This is solely to get fitter and healthier and to fall in love with my body.

- Therapy. I attend monthly therapy appointments with the most wonderful lady. I feel it is so important to look after your mental health. I also have hypnotherapy with her to help with past traumas and It has been so incredible to me this year. I wish I had started years ago. I have been going for 10 months now and the amount I have grown and changed is amazing!

- Taking time for myself. This includes a lot of stuff. I suffer from awful mum guilt and never really do anything for myself as I feel I should be with the girls all the time but I want to take days to myself and evenings when I go for walks or for a run. I also want to do things like getting my hair done every few months as I haven't had it cut in over a year! And eyebrows and little self care things like that. I crave time to myself and now the girls are getting older, they spend more time with each other or playing in their rooms so I also need to embrace that time in the house to do creative things.

- Being kind and positive. It is such an important thing to me to always be kind to everyone. I want to make people feel happy and love doing little things to make people smile. I want to do more of this as it makes me feel happy also.

So these are not unrealistic things and I hope just incorporating more of these into my everyday will make for a wonderful year!


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